Cee Lo Green at LIV

By | January 13th, 2011 | 7 Comments
Cee Lo at Liv

Cee Lo Green doing it all for the cheese at LIV.

So, the Cee Lo “show” at LIV last night was one helluva soul-sucker. I don’t need to describe what you already know about Miami clubs. It’s a trashy scene. But I will offer this analogy: LIV is like high school. It’s cold, there are hall monitors, there are cliques, sluts and assholes rule the roost, you need a pass to go anywhere. “Duh,” you’re thinking, “Whatdya expect?” True, I should have known better, but I went because I hoped Cee Lo would make the $12 Fiji worthwhile, and because we wrangled VIP passes (which meant we received a relatively mild glance of disdain from the Guardian of the Rope).

Alas, Cee Lo’s rotund appearance only completed the circle of cynicism. Festooned with rented diamonds, he sang (maybe lip synched) over recordings of “Crazy” and “Fuck You” and then, after a final perfunctory “Miami is my favorite spot on Planet Earth”, hunkered down in booth 12. I won’t say more, because last night’s apocalyptic shit show deserves a three-volume work on the decline and fall of Man, not a blog post. Here are a few photos, which we got under explicit threat of being “bum-rushed” by the security guards.

In the lobby before the show, a mystic laughs at our fate.

You may remember these women as the partners’ wives in The Devil’s Advocate.

Apocalypse Now
One too many Knifey Molokos.

7 Comments on “Cee Lo Green at LIV”

  1. 1 Par4TheCourse said at 11:10 pm on January 13th, 2011:

    This has to be expected at any ‘musical’ performance in a nightclub like Liv, Mansion, etc.

  2. 2 Jordan Melnick said at 11:42 pm on January 13th, 2011:

    True. I wasn’t thinking about the ridiculous “club host” role rappers take on for easy bread. Thought I was in for a performance, silly me.

  3. 3 angrychicken said at 10:39 am on January 14th, 2011:

    god i hate liv so deuchebaggy

    cee lo why would you do dis 4 teh moneyz?

  4. 4 bloom said at 5:22 pm on January 14th, 2011:

    don’t go to events with rope lines. i missed the jacuzzi boys because of a rope line.

  5. 5 Jordan Melnick said at 5:27 pm on January 14th, 2011:

    At the rope, this guy tried to grease the Guardian of the Rope. GOTR looked down at the clenched fist of money, immediately quantified its value, and walked away.

  6. 6 arielle said at 10:14 pm on January 15th, 2011:

    i love it when you’re angry.

  7. 7 Jordan Melnick said at 11:05 am on January 16th, 2011:

    ( `_ยด )

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