A picture is said to be worth a 1000 words, but now and again a picture defies words entirely. Exhibit A: I encountered this head-scratcher on the bottom floor of my apartment building. It appears to be an enormous red clown wig, discarded at the foot of my neighbor’s doorstep for God knows what reason. I’m at a loss with this one. My mind goes to depraved places for an explanation, but maybe the explanation doesn’t involve an Eyes Wide Shut meets It orgy. Maybe I simply share a building with an especially hard-working clown, some Bozo who loosens his bow-tie and shakes off his giant red wig in the hallway before coming home to an empty apartment and a full glass of whiskey. Sometimes you just have to leave your work at the front door, right? Here’s hoping, because I might also be living 25 feet above John Wayne Gacy’s biggest fan. Does this building have a crawlspace? Shit, I think so. Gulp.
Got any more comforting theories?