Well, you can’t beat your fate. The fate of the 2011 Miami Dolphins is to look good all the way through and not finish. It’s getting to the point where I have to wonder aloud if Coach Sparano has them practicing with blue footballs. The 20-19 loss to the Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving was the first time in a long time I was really rooting for them to pull off a win and, of course, they caved. They deserve no Thanksgiving leftovers.
The halftime show deserves a mention considering it was a hilarious hodgepodge of scripted 305-inspired crap. Pitbull is the man and all, but he’s turning into a tropical nightclub cartoon character. And I’d like Enrique Iglesias to sleep with my sister so I can try out my David Carradine-inspired Five Point Exploding Scrotum Technique on him. I don’t have a sister and that halftime show was birdshit.