WE WOOOOOOOOOONNNN! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! Wait. Is that even a good thing? Some people are happy the Dolphins were finally able to plug the crack house bathtub drain, at least for a week, with their 31-3 walloping of the Kansas City Chiefs. Other fans openly lament the victory, our first this season, because it lessens our chance of drafting Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck with the first pick in next year’s draft. Despite a flawless three-touchdown performance by quarterback Matt Moore and impressive showings from both running back Reggie Bush (92 yards rushing, 50 yards receiving, one touchdown) and wide receiver Brandon Marshall (106 yards receiving, one touchdown), Fins Nation seems unsure if celebration or lamentation is in order. We Dolphins fans are a miserable breed.
I have mostly avoided joining the “Suck for Luck” chants myself because I know it’s not worth emotionally investing in a player that isn’t on our team. The mindfuck of being a Dolphins fan for the last 10 years has been buying into the vague possibility that the team is going to be good, for this or that reason, only to suffer through one losing season after another. Now everyone is looking to Andrew Luck, a kid who currently calls the other side of the effing country home, as the franchise’s savior. Not me. It’s been a long time coming, but I’ve finally wised up.
That said, WE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! It is a relief. The last vestige of pride — justifiable pride — Dolphins fans have is the 1972 championship team’s 17-0 record. You don’t want to have both an undefeated season and a winless season in one team’s history. It would be like having V-J Day and the Fall of Saigon in one country’s — nevermind.