Man, the 2011-2012 Miami Dolphins are boring. Even in their 20-9 victory against the crap-stank Washington Redskins — their first home win in nearly a year — they lost my interest. I actually dozed off in the middle of the third quarter.
Matt Moore’s name is boring. Read his stat line (20 for 29 with 207 yards and an interception) if you can’t fall asleep tonight. Knowing Dolphin fans, we’ll be justifying this unleaded-pencil dick as the future of our franchise before long. Once a sucker, always a sucker …
On Sunday the Dolphins proved that they are not the dive-bar toilet algae we thought they were. It seems that Coach Tony Sparano has regained control of the locker room and could at this point hold on to his job through the end of this non season. I figure we win another couple of games. Maybe one of them will make me happy.
This season has become the senile grandparent to whom decorum demands we pay at least some attention. It needs to be fed and diapered, but meanwhile we’re eying the next generation, or, in this case, next season. Each win puts us in a worse position to draft even the secondary stud quarterbacks like Oklahoma’s Landry Jones and Matt Barkley of University of Southern California. I’m pulling for Landry Jones only because I hate everything from USC.